1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize