So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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