its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
