dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
