were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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