real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
