Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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