it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize