i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
