I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The best revenge is premature balding
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize