We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
