I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
