im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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