guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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