if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
