Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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