Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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