That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
