I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
