I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
