mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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