i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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