i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
