Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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