No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
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