I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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