just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
