I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dicks are not precious.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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