But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
