I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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