all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
