Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
