Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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