too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
