Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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