Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
