Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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