I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
