Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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