If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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