I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
