She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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