just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
high people should be assigned attendants
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
