its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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