we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
