hotel room ftw
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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