Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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