We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I could fuck to npr.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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