Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I FOUND THE LEGS
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
