nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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