in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
