So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
