Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
