Don't you send me to vm
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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