Will you blow on my dice?
my sisters under your porch take her home
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Terrible idea I love it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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