he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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