Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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