don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she smelled like a LAN party
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
