**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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