3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Please, let me fuck your mom
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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