yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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