He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
